Buddha's Dogs

Buddha's Dogs by Susan Browne

I'm at a day-long meditation retreat, eight hours of watching

my mind with my mind,

and I already fell asleep twice and nearly fell out of my chair,

and it's not even noon yet.

In the morning session, I learned to count my thoughts, ten in

one minute, and the longest

was to leave and go to San Anselmo and shop, then find an

outdoor cafe and order a glass

of Sancerre, smoked trout with roasted potatoes and baby

carrots and a bowl of gazpacho.

But I stayed and learned to name my thoughts, so far they are:

wanting, wanting, wanting,

wanting, wanting, wanting, wanting, wanting, judgment,

sadness, Don't identify with your

thoughts, the teacher says, you are not your personality, not your

ego-identification,

then he bangs the gong for lunch. Whoever, whatever I am is

given instruction

in the walking meditation and the eating meditation and walks

outside with the other

meditators, and we wobble across the lawn like The Night of the

Living Dead.

I meditate slowly, falling over a few times because I kept my

foot in the air too long.

towards a bench, sit slowly, and slowly eat my sandwich,

noticing the bread,

(sourdough), noticing the taste, (tuna, sourdough), noticing

the smell, (sourdough, tuna),

thanking the sourdough, the tuna, the ocean, the boat, the

fisherman, the field, the grain,

and the hope of getting through the rest of this day without

dying of boredom.

Sun then cloud then sun. I notice a maple leaf on my sandwich.

It seems awfully large.

Slowly brushing it away, I feel so sad I can hardly stand it, so I

name my thoughts; they are:

sadness about my mother, judgment about my father, wanting

the child I never had.

I notice I've been chasing the same thoughts like dogs around

the same park most of my life,

notice the leaf tumbling gold to the grass. The gong sounds,

and back in the hall,

I decide to try lying down meditation, and let myself sleep. The

Buddha in my dream is me,

surrounded by dogs wagging their tails, licking my hands.

I wake up

for the forgiveness meditation, the teacher saying, never put

anyone our of your heart,

and the heart opens and knows it won't last and will have to

open again and again,

chasing those dogs around and around in the sun then cloud,

then sun.

Like Siddhartha, Cathedral and Tartuffe, this poem shows the epiphany of listening and experiencing in order to learn. Much like all of these stories, this poem by Susan Browne shows how a day-long meditation retreat enhanced the thoughts of a common man. This man was experiencing dillusional behavior and soon learned that by a smiple act, such as reviewing your thoughts, you could free the body and mind.

Browne, Susan. "Buddha's Dogs." Poetry 180: A Turning Back to Poetry. Ed. Billy Collins. New York: Random House, 2003. 154.

Catherdrals Open the Way You See Life

"Cathedral" by Ramond Carver is a story about a husband, the narrator, who is jealous of his wife's blind friend, Robert. The husband makes continuous negative remarks about Robert, showing his insecurity. When Robert comes to visit his longtime friend, the narrator's wife, the narrator gets furious and very jealous, questioning his visit. During the whole story, the husband has a huge negative outlook on the blind man, that he doesn't stop to realize that this man is harmless and is just looking for some company and friendship. Towards the end of the story the husband realizes that the blind man is a really nice guy who means no harm against his marriage with his wife.

The blind man instructed the husband to close his eyes and draw a Cathedral. "My eyes were still closed. I was in my house. I knew that. But I didn't feel like I was inside anything. 'It's really something,' I said" (78).

The narrator comes to the realization that the blind man was a good man by listening to him and learning from him. He came to realize that the blind man was in solitude, just as he was when he had his eyes close. It is almost as if he escaped his life and had no worries when he closed his eyes. By listening and experiencing what the blind man is going through, the narrator learns that he shouldn't make opinions about people before he meets them and he shouldn't be so quick to judge.

Carver, Raymond. "Cathedral." The Seagull Reader: Stories. Ed. Joseph Kelly. New York: WW Norton, 2001. 8-23.

Don't Trust Anyone:Tartuffe!

Tartuffe is a very popular play written by Moliere. In this play the father, a rich man named Orgon, plans to give away everything, to offer his daughter in marriage to his spiritual guide, Tartuffe. Against his daughters wishes, Orgon makes his whole family upset with him.

"Yes, Tartuffe shall be
Allied by marriage to this family,
And he's to be your husband, is that clear?
It's a father's privilege..."(40)

Orgon was being stubborn to his daughter, Mariane and forcing her to marry Tartuffe. Not listening to what Mariane has to say Orgon agrees to give everything he owns to Tartuffe.

"This very day, I'll give to you alone
Clear deed and title to everything I own.
A dear, good friend and son-in-law-to-be
Is more than wife, or child, or kin to me.
Will you accept my offer, dearest son"(106)"

Elmire, Orgon's wife claimed to Orgon that Tartuffe has put a move on her. Orgon doesn't believe her story because she didn't confront him about it right away.

"Madam, I know a few plain facts, and one
Is that you're partial to my rascal son;
Hence, when he sought to make Tartuffe the victim
Of a base lie, you dared not contradict him.
Ah, but you underplayed your part, my pet;
You should have looked more angry, more upset"(116).

In this quote, Orgon is basically telling telling his wife that she is lying and doing a horrible job in doing so. Elmire fights back and he still doesn't believe her. Elmire sets up a plan for Orgon to catch Tartuffe in action. After listening to Tartuffe, Orgon learns the real way of Tartuffe.

"That man's a perfect monster, I must admit!
I'm simply stunned. I can't get over it"(129).

If Orgon had not listened, he would have married his daughter off to a horrible conniving man. Through listening he learned how horrible the situation would have been if his daughter really married Tartuffe.

Moliere. Tartuffe, by Moliere. New York: Harvest Books, 1968.

Siddhartha Learns Through The River!

Herman Hesse's Siddhartha is the story of a young Brahmin searching to find nirvana and the sublime one. Siddhartha leaves his family and travels into the forest in hopes of understanding. Throughout his journey he experiences many different lifestyles. He learns how to be humble and a samana and also experience the joys of sensual love, fame, and wealth. Towards the end of his journey he meets Vasudeva, a ferryman. Vasudeva invites Siddhartha to come live with him and it is there that Siddhartha has an epiphany. While listening to the river, Siddhartha comes to the realization that in order to learn you need to listen.

"The river gazed at him with a thousand eyes, with green, with white, with crystalline, with sky blue eyes. How he loved the water, how it delighted him, how grateful he was to it! In his heart he heard the voice speaking, the newly awakened voice, and it said to him: 'Love this water! Stay with it! Learn from it' "(89)!

At first sight of the river, Siddhartha has the epiphany that he will learn from this river. The river had a lot to offer and even though it was the same water it took on a new meaning every second. "He saw the water running and running, constantly running, and yet it was always there, was always and forever the same, and yet new every instant"(89)! This quote is related to learning about love, it is always there, it should be forever yet it feels new with everyday that passes. Listening experiencing the river helped him learn thoughts like this.

After Siddhartha struggles with his son, by listening to the river, he has another epiphany and learns from it as well."The river flowed softly and gently, it was the dry season of the year, but the river's voice sounded strange. It was laughing! It was clearly laughing. The river was laughing, it laughed, clear and bright, at the old ferryman. Siddhartha halted, he leaned over the water to better hear, and in the silently flowing water he saw his own face reflected, and in this reflected face there was something that reminded him, something forgotten, and by pondering it, he found it. The face resembled another face, that he had once known and loved and also feared. It resembled the face of his father, the Brahmin" (115).

When looking into the river Siddhartha sees his own face that resembled the face of his father. Seeing this, Siddhartha looks back on his childhood and how he hated living with his family. He realizes that his father had the same painful struggles as Siddhartha had with his son. I feel as though the river helped Siddhatha be content with his son leaving, by reminding him of his young Brahmin past.

Hesse, Herman. Siddhartha. New York: Penguin Books, 1999.